This love goes all the way back to my childhood. I just needed an excuse to get my hands coloured with the beautiful designs of mehendi (henna). I went to a convent school and we were actually not allowed to apply mehendi (although being in a Hindu country I don’t know why they had this stupid rule) Coz be it a festival or family function or wedding, mehendi was always there. And this was one rule I always broke. I dint care what they would say coz I just liked it so much. So much so that the lady who applied mehendi on my hands, would drop in any time coz she knew my mom will never say no for me to apply it 🙃 In my early twenties, after I took a job, my co workers came from a different background. So mehendi for them would mean I got engaged or married! So every time I had mehendi on my hands, someone or the other would come up and congratulate me and I would have to say that it’s just for the festival 🙄 some wouldn’t believe I would go through the efforts just for a festival!

I’m glad that my daughters share the same love for mehendi that I had. Especially A. She gets super excited and won’t leave me till I agree to call the mehendiwali (the lady who applies mehendi for us). But amidst the pandemic I did not want to call any outsider home and decided to venture into this myself. I called for a couple of readymade mehendi cones from the market and googled cute mehendi designs for kids. The girls chose their designs and I started off. It took long! Like really long! I have used the cone before but it’s just been for small motifs and stuff. Never have I tried applying proper designs (partly because I never needed to and I could simply call over a professional). And also because if I would apply the mehendi it would mean I can only apply on one hand and I always wanted both my hands filled with the designs.

I am fortunate enough with one more thing. Along with the girls, my husband loves it too!!! You will find very very few men who like the smell and look of it. And fortunately mine is one of them! Otherwise for most women the husband becomes the deterrent.

My little A is one fashionista. She wants to wear party dresses every single day even if it means wearing a strappy dress even if we all are using full sleeves and sweaters. After the mehendi application yesterday we did a round of nail polish today. She usually likes different colours on all the nails and likes to apply those glittery shimmery coats on top. She’s going to visit her best friend tomorrow and she wants to be at her best 😄. And P’s friend is coming over tomorrow (she’s going to be seeing a friend for the first time in 6 months!) so even she wanted to apply nail polish with the glittery coat. Complete beauty treatment weekend!

Funditation!! Weird word? P coined this word . It’s a hybrid of Fun + Meditation. The 3 of them (P, A and papa) were having some masti (fun) time. They tickled, they crooded (we call this “croods ho gaye” as in the movie ‘Croods’ when they all pile up on each other to sleep) , they were singing and laughing till their tummies ached. It was something watching them all together including papa having such a good time. It was almost dinner time and usually papa meditates for 10-15 mins before dinner. But today since they were having so much fun he couldn’t do that since dinner was already served before they were done. So he decided to skip meditation. And then P came up with this word saying “ papa you have already done your meditation today with so much fun. You have “FUNDITATED””.

I join in too. We throw pillows around, tickle each other, chase each other around the room and make a complete mess. The room looks like a tornado went through it 😂. But it’s so much fun. And those 15 minutes of funditation can be a real mood lifter. It’s like just forget everything and dive into it. Not to mention the sweet sound of the kids laughing. We became kids again and remembered all those times we had sleepovers with cousins. Super duper fun! We are making it a routine in our house. Prescribed by our doctor kids. Forced into it but doesn’t feel compulsory any more. Give it a try and tell me how you felt.

Yes! Both my girls still sleep in my room. They both have their own mattresses and they sleep there. Although A always comes up into my bed at midnight. Sometimes she sneaks in so quietly that I don’t realise she’s there until morning! She’s mastered the art of sneaking up without waking me up. Finally after so many years it seems like I’m able to sleep all night, 8 hours without having to wake up for the kids.

P is 10 and A is 5. So yes it’s high time these girls move to their own room. But they both are so used to sleeping here that they are too scared to move out! They don’t want to sleep alone in their room. Although if they both sleep there they are technically not ‘alone’. But who cares about the technicality. If mom isn’t there, it’s “alone”. I’ve tried many times in the past. P even painted her wall saying that if her room looks better she will sleep there. But…. yeah you guessed right. It didn’t work.

They sleep there for a night and are back the next night. So yesterday I told them that I’m giving you girls a week’s time. Then you have to sleep in your room. As usual A burst out crying.

A: wahhhhhh wahhhhhh…… Me: what happened? A: (still crying) I don’t want to sleep in that room Me : Why? A : (still crying) because I won’t have anyone to cuddle (she loves cuddling into me and sleeping). Me : P didi will be there. You can cuddles her P: ya you can cuddle me. A: (crying with tears flowing down her chubby cheeks) No you are too thin!

P and I burst out laughing at this innocent excuse given by A. She is one cuddly puddly little teddy bear. Every morning she needs to cuddle into me and sleep for 20-25 minutes before she starts her day. And honestly speaking….. I Love it too.

So I’m not really sure if I really want them to go. Yes, it’s a huge compromise on our privacy. But I will miss them if they sleep in another room. Room itna khali khali sa lagega. (Room will seem a bit empty). But I need to encourage them more to sleep in their room. Have to think of ways now….

As the online school vs no online school debate picks up, we can see so many arguments cropping up which really have not been thought through. One of them being “screen time is harmful for mental health”

I’m not denying it’s not. But what kind of screen time are we talking about? What you are citing are researches and studies done on kids related to screen time on gadgets and televisions. Where kids sit and watch cartoons for hours on end or play video games. This is all ‘passive’ screen time. The child is completely passive during this time. There is no interaction involved. There is no involvement of the child. There are only complicated visuals in front of the child which flash by in seconds. Vivid colours and loud sounds which leave a lasting impact on the child’s tender brain and and eyes. The fast moving screens make them restless and can often lead to ADHD kind of symptoms. Yes. This is harmful! It’s making the child a couch potato. There is no stimulation! It cuts the child’s ability to be imaginative and creative because things are readymade in front of them.

Now let’s talk about screen time in the context of an online interactive classroom. Here we have the teacher talking with the students. She is teaching a concept. She then makes sure all the students are understanding. She asks questions turn by turn to make sure they are all involved and understanding. She asks them to write it down in their books and probably answer some questions too. Kids only see their teacher and the teaching content. Do you see a difference? Do you see that in an online class the child’s brain is being stimulated. The class is interactive so the child can participate, think and answer questions. If the child has some questions, they can ask. They can clear the doubts immediately. Once class is over they have assignments to do which again is using their time constructively.

The one thing that has been on parents’ minds is that children are wasting their time. They do not have any constructive activity to involve themselves in. In today’s day if you want to do something constructive, again you will turn to the internet for ideas. I will look for an online origami or art class, or some public speaking class which will give something useful to my child. I cannot even send them out to play.

Personally I do not allow my children more than an hour of screen time everyday. So the rest of the day they have to find ways to keep themselves busy. Read books. Play with toys. Do anything you like but no screen time. But there are many parents who do not. Their kids go back to watching you tube or Netflix or play video games. P had a farewell party virtually when the last academic year ended abruptly. So after 3-4 weeks of left over assignments they had a virtual party. I listened in and all I could hear most boys doing was playing video games and some girls too! Many girls were only watching tv. And that was just the first few weeks of the lockdown. We have been through 3.5 months of that.

And now if these are extended further what will happen to the mental health of kids? No social interaction. No brain stimulation. No constructive activity. No physical activity. Nothing to do. What will happen of them? Our country hasn’t even reached it’s peak yet in COVID. So this is going to be a really long haul! Do you want to reopen schools? World over schools have opened and had to shut again because cases started rising.

We can only hope the government understands that adopting technology is the only solution. You are asking people to work from home but what about the children. They too will have to learn from home! Parents are too scared to send children to school yet. Unless the impact of the virus declines or we have a vaccine no one is sending children to school!

Fortunately the courts see through this. There was a Public Interest Litigation filed by some parents a few days back and today was the court hearing. The court has asked the government to make guidelines for schools instead of banning outright. So we see a light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s sad and disappointing the the Karnataka and Maharashtra governments have taken such a step. Banning online classes uptil grade 5 (grade 2 for Maharashtra) is not the solution. Even if the best case scenario is discussed, parents are not willing to send children to schools till there is a vaccine or till COVID dies down. Both of which we know might take 6-12 months. Maybe more. So what about the children?
They have been holed up since March. Meeting no one other than family. No social interactions. No physical outings. When online classes started it was such a breath of fresh air for them. They were excited everyday to see their friends and teachers. P said “ Mama Class Teacher Time is my favourite. That’s when everyone shares. We get to perform for our class and we get to know ma’am better”

“Sorry baby. It’s off now “is what I have to tell her in the morning when she wakes up. Unaware that the government of Karnataka feels that learning needs to be stopped, she will wake up and prepare for her classes at 8:30am. When she heard about it first she was like “WHY???? It’s so much fun!”

Some so called experts are saying increased screen time affects mental health. But that’s for passive screen time. School is not passive. It’s so so active. There is so much interaction happening between the teachers and students and the students with their peers. You need to really sit through some classes and see how they are going. Teachers are teaching and kids are LEARNING!

Keeping kids away from learning for a long period of time won’t affect their mental health? How will they suddenly get back to learning one fine day when schools reopen physically? (God knows when that will be. 6 months, 8 months, 1 year?) their minds will be off learning for so long! And if parents try to engage them constructively, they are going to turn to the internet! That’s the only place where they can get active content for kids learning. Ban the edutech companies. Ban you tube. Ban all teachers taking online tuitions. Does it make any sense?

Schools were giving such a controlled amount of screen time with sufficient breaks. A’s preschool was literally give 2-3 minute videos to be shown to them. Why can’t they see that? Just put a ban is their solution. They don’t want to delve deeper into it. They don’t want to do any work and put in efforts. Just ban everything because we have the power. Who will work.

They argue that people with lesser means will not be able to access online learning. So people with lesser means are only till grade 5. Above that , all means appear on their own. Talk sense. Our neighbouring states are looking for ways and means to engage school going children by streaming classes in local channels. Learn! Get off your asses and do some work! Why are you stopping others from working hard too?

These are only policies of regressive governments. Instead of upping their game they are pulling everyone down. This is going to cost the kids a LOT! Wake up! Or you will be faced with a different kind of challenge in some time.

Schools have really invested a lot of time, effort and money into these online classes. They have not charged us an extra rupee. Same tuition fee as last year in more eased instalments. No extra money for online classes. The teachers have been trained over the summer holidays to use the Internet and online tools to teach the kids. And they have done such a fabulous job. Kudos to them!

Schools are willing to go to court. PIL has also been filed by many parents. Waiting for a good outcome. Let’s hope sense prevails. Let’s hope our kids are not deprived of their very fundamental righ “right to education”

This is a huge question troubling us in our state today. I’m a mom of a 5th grader and I’ve seen them take classes online for the past 3 weeks. They are soooo happy with the them. And not to mention looking forward to them every single day. I have not seen my daughter do her assignments so enthusiastically before. Maybe it’s the new format which excites them or whatever! She looks forward everyday to seeing her friends in class and interacting with them. She is excited to learn with technology and has adapted to it so quickly.

To brief you on how her school is handling it. They have subscribed to G suite and so everything is integrated. The classrooms, the video calls on Google meet, the assignments and turning them in. They use these tools very commonly abroad but for a place like India its a completely new concept. Never before had we to work on assignments on the computer and use the internet facilities to submit them. Its new, its exciting and it is such a huge step forward in getting the kids ready for the real world. 

The school has classes starting at 8:30 am and ending at 12:40pm. This includes 30 minutes of class teacher time which is basically the children and the class teacher getting to know each other better. Then they have 3 other classes till lunch. in between each class they have a 15-20 minute break which enables them to walk around, stretch and give their eyes some rest. Post lunch starting at 1:10 they have only discussions with teachers regarding any difficulties. 

The reason I’m sharing this so much in detail is that I want to highlight, that their school is taking every step possible to not burden students with this. To make sure screen time is limited and that the kids get enough breaks in between. I ususally don’t allow my kids to watch TV more than an hour on holidays and 30 minutes on a school day, unless of course they are watching a movie which is once a week. Still i find this pretty reasonable and comfortable.

I have not seen her getting tired or irritated or grumbling about the fact that she has to attend school on the computer. At least its better than whiling away their time. In this time of lockdown, the kids have been very badly affected. They cant step out of the house or meet anyone. They havn’t interacted with anyone other than family since March! That’s over 2 months! Through this medium they are able to interact with their friends and also with their teachers. Even if it is online, they are still creating a bond with the teachers.

And here…. our state government is hell bent on banning live classes for children upto grade 7! They say that screen time is too much and children have to sit in one place and concentrate at one thing for too long. However, pre recorded sessions are fine! really??? then where are you stopping screen time? Isn’t that too an added screen time? If you ban classes children will spend time on TV and other gadgets. Can you ban that too? They say that less priviledged families cannot afford internet and computers. Then find a solution for that. Another state has put pre recorded sessions on their local TV channel. Do something like that for the government school students. Find a way!!! 

Put some guidelines in place for schools. Like limiting the number of classes or compulsory breaks in between. I know schools who have started classes like regular school. From 8:30 till 2:30 they are attending classes online like a regular school, with only a short break and a lunch break. That can be harmful for the kids.

P’s school and teachers have worked really hard to engage the students positively. The massive effort the teachers have put in is commendable, to be able to adapt to this new medium and teach so well. Yes, this is slower than a normal class…. but its happening. They are all getting used to this format and picking up. Teachers are so patient with the students. Somebody’s video is off, somebody has a poor connection, one student cannot understand and so on. Their teachers have one support staff too in the class who makes sure these minor hurdles can be taken care of. Ask a student to switch on camera or make sure all students are on mute so that the teacher is not wasting her time and energy on this.

I only want to tell the government…. Please do not put a ban just like that. You need to take all stakeholders’ opinions on this. When you say pre primary… its fine. 1st and 2nd grade also i can understand . But beyond that it will only hamper the kids learning. If kids are kept away from learning for a very long time, that too is detrimental to them. In this scenario of so much uncertainty, we do not know when schools will be able to open. Parents will definitely prefer this mode than to physically send their kids to school. If this scenario continues over 6-8 months it would mean almost 3/4th of the school year gone. What then? if you ban uptil 7th, who will you put in 8th grade next year? The entire world has acceted this medium then why not us? Are our state kids something different from children all over the world? Please make sure you make a properly informed decision and not something in haste. Put guidlines in place instead of a ban!

Edit: As I was penning this down, a new article says they will be banning pre recorded sessions as well till grade 5. You want to open schools soon? this is a complete failure all over the world. What are our kids supposed to do? This is going from bad to worse. It’s enraging how they want to control the parents personal choice to allow their kids online education. 

As a follow up to the last post and the previous one, here are the declutter tips I spoke about.

• Give the kids a personal space. It can be a drawer or a cupboard or a corner. We all know that kids love to collect little treasures. They need a place to keep them. I dint have any place to give them earlier because the playroom doesn’t have any drawers or cupboards made that way. And their bedroom was a guest room. And the furniture is old style with not very child friendly options for the kids to keep their stuff in. In this process I managed to give them a drawer each and give P a study table coz she needs that space now to study and keep her school stuff in.
• Put tiny toys in drawers or small boxes which can be categorised. I realised that kids have too many tiny toys. Some small musical instruments, telescopes, hand held fans, fancy boxes, and many little treasures. Earlier I had given them a big bin in which everything was dumped. But then those things never got played with. They could never find what they really wanted and whatever went in the bin was ultimately forgotten. Those big toy bins are a trap. They only eat the toys up and the kids never enjoy anything that goes in. During this exercise we were able to sort and organise those teeny weeny toys in drawers. Now they are all easily accessible and their minds are refreshed with which toys were actually in there. Plus we managed to get rid of half the bin worth of toys!