The wild side of life

The wild side of life

We as a family, are very fond of wildlife. Our preferred holidays are places with natural beauty or going to a forest reserve where there are game drives. We’ve been to Ranthambore, Tadoba, Kanha, Bandipur and our all time favourite Kabini (8 times in all 😃). So many trips to Kabini partly because it’s such a short drive from Bangalore. And the resort there is simply beautiful. By the riverside, it’s a peaceful haven and can transport you into another world. And the added attraction of game drives.

Recently we took another short trip there and wow it was amazing. The first day we had a leopard sighting for almost 2 hours. We sat and watched Scarface lazing around while we got some amazing shots. Unfortunately for the rest of the family only my father in law and me went for that drive.

The kids loved the place. The open space, the fresh air. They could cycle around the resort. Watching birds there and the whole experience of the game drive was exciting for them. Even though we dint spot any big cat in that particular drive, seeing deer, monkeys, Gaur and peacocks was enough for the little one. She was sitting in the canter van and keenly looking around to try and spot something. It was the first game drive experience for her. Earlier we would always leave her behind at the hotel with someone to look after her. As soon as she would see something she would point out “Mamma dekho deer ka baby! (Mamma see a deer baby!) Or “Mamma see peacock!” It was amazing to see how interested she was in driving around the forest and seeing the animals.

Yes, Mr Macau was with us too on trip. Since he is a bird, P thought he would like to see the forest and his wild friends.

And in between the forest and the resort, it was a 10 minute drive through the local village and farms. Those too were so exciting for her. She saw so many cows and goats and dogs and hens with chicks. On the last day we even had someone take us to a village and show us how the people there live. It interested P a lot as to the way the houses were made, what was growing in the fields and also how the local school was. I wanted to show her how in the village they had only one small room (almost just as big as her own classroom) for 70 children. Grades 1-5 all sat in the same room with 1 teacher to teach them.

It was a very humbling experience. To see how we take the things we have for granted. Basic necessities for us like the tv, fridge, car are all things which are out of reach for these poor villagers. The tribals have the farms inside the area which has been demarcated as forest reserve by the government. So they are being asked to relocate just outside the forest boundaries with a piece of land for farming and a certain sum of money. It’s one of the steps the government takes to reduce animal human conflict. Just 2 days before we went there, a tiger died due to electrocution by the electric fence the farmers put around their farms to protect their farms.

P was intrigued as to why the farmers had to put electric fences and why they made machans on trees to overlook the fields. The ginger fields had many colourful flags and apparently has become a very important export crop in recent years. All in all the children had a great time in the wilderness. It’s an experience of a lot of learning too. Since they are learning food chains in school, seeing the animals live was a wonderful experience. We would spot different bugs and insects they would watch them with such wonder.

Just when you start enjoying the peace….

Just when you start enjoying the peace….

Calvin is my favourite comic strip. Even though Calvin himself is just a kid….. the life lessons in these are simply fantastic. And this particular strip shows the predicament of all parents very clearly.

You know that moment…. when you sit back and relax with your favourite book…..thinking that your toddler/pre schooler is busy/sleeping….. open to the page where you left it(a month ago!)…… read a couple of pages….. start enjoying the story again…… and……. enter, your unbelievably right on time, child!!! That’s it! All your dreams of having a relaxing peaceful time are crushed under their numerous questions and orders of playing with them.

They just know the right time, don’t they? Whether you’re reading a book or even go to the bathroom to do that most essential thing….. they just appear from somewhere. I have noticed that A will be nowhere to be seen. Maybe more than half an hour has passed. But the moment I decide to take a bathroom break…. I hear loud screams and cries “MAMMA ROOM MEIN NAHIN HAI……WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (Mamma is not in room…… waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!) I don’t know how but she knows it by intuition, the exact time of me going to the bathroom. Even early morning. She will be sound asleep….. but the moment I wake up and go to the bathroom….. she is out there crying her lungs out. And I don’t understand…. why cry ya??? Papa is right there. Sleeping beside you. But no….. MAMMA is not there.

Have you noticed how when you are resting or relaxing the older one remembers her work? “Mom….. my homework” or “mom you were supposed to do this with me” or “mom…..mom…..mom” 😫 and then it won’t do if I tell her I’ll do it in half an hour. It’s has to be NOW! After a lot of persuading and pleading and sometimes scolding she will agree with a timer in her head. The second that half an hour is over she is back…. now with something more in her list.

So now I’m learning a trick. First thing in the morning (or after she has come from school and finished her snack) let’s do something together (btw P is on a 3 week summer break…….European summer ), then she is satisfied and her hunger for mom is fulfilled. Then she lets me do my thing for the rest of the day. Which is a good thing because this way I’m forcing myself to spend time with her also. Which, if left for some other time in the day, sometimes gets totally left out.

I’m being watched

I’m being watched

Recently I came across this picture on Facebook on one of my friend’s timeline. It hit me really hard. Don’t we all come across such situations in life where we want to just leave everything behind and wish that we can give it all up? Let’s face it…. we all do. And it is in such times we often forget about our children. Not only are they affected by our decisions but they are also watching. Watching us act and react. Watching our every move, every word we speak.

If I give up, my child will follow suit. If I stay strong my child grows stronger. They learn the whole cycle of facing tough situations and being strong through them. Their observation is super strong. Especially when they are in that age of 2-10. Once they start understanding things, they learn everything from you. They observe what clothes you’re wearing, what shoes, what jewellery, even nail polish! ……And your words. They pick those up the fastest.

There have been numerous times when A comes and tells me things she has observed and remembered for over a few months! Like I have one particular pink kurta which I wear with an orange legging. One day I wore it with an off white legging. The second she saw me, she said “Mamma ye galat pant hai….. isko Orange pant ke saath pehenna chahiye!” (Mamma this is the wrong pant… you should wear this with the orange one!) Or once after I changed my nail polish on my toes….. “aapne red colour kyon laga liya?”( why have you applied red colour?) Or once when it had been a few days since I had not removed my nail polish on my toes….. “isko utaar do Mamma, aapke naakhun kharab ho jaayenge” (remove this Mamma, your nails will get spoilt) coz I keep refusing to put nail polish on her saying her nails will get spoilt.

These are just material things. Every word I say is also being observed and stored in their memories. P and A both have been very observant girls. We really have to watch what we talk when they are around because they listen and they remember. It’s not only what I say… but also HOW I say. The days I’m a little off beat and land up being a little strict with them, they too start behaving the same way. The more patient I am, the better my kids behave. How I react to certain things is what teaches them what a person’s reaction should be.

For children, parents are their biggest teachers. They learn everything from us. How we talk, how we walk, how we dress….. just about everything. Even how I spend my time. I can’t complain that my children spend too much time with the screen, if I myself spend hours on my phone and watch television very often. I can’t complain that my kids eat all over the house if I don’t sit and eat on the dining table. Same goes with eating and watching TV. A lot of parents complain of many things. But I don’t think they introspect and see what they themselves are doing.

The way children talk, their tone, their words are all results of their observation. So if you want your children to behave, then you have to learn to behave. If you want them to have respect, you learn to respect not only others, but them too.

The most appropriate thing I can mention for today’s day and age is the way men and women live in the house together. Does the man of the house give respect to the lady or does he talk rudely to her all the time or even physically abuse her? If not even to that extent just on a general note… what are the things mom and dad do around the house? The whole gender thingie is ingrained in their mind from a very young age. Dad works at office. Mom does all the housework. Dad chills when he’s at home. Mom has to take care of food and groceries and laundry etc etc. Basically mom does all the housework and dad works outside. Now a days even if mom is also working , still she is the only one doing these things. Dads still don’t help. That’s where the gender bias creeps in. If both parents are working then it’s both parents’ responsibility to take care of the house and kids also. Why only mom? So the kids grow up learning the same thing and the cycle continues. This whole woman abuse comes from the fact that women are not given equal respect at home by men. So the younger generation also learns the same thing. Forget men not giving respect even women of the same house don’t treat each other well. It’s so deeply penetrated in our culture , that women themselves feel that they are inferior and that’s the only place for a woman.

So if we are looking to live in a better world we have to correct ourselves as parents. Only then will the next generation learn about beig equal. But in a nation like ours…. the task seems to be impossible. Certain strata of the society might take a few generations more. But at least we, educated people, well traveled people, should get out of these. Try and change things for our daughters by setting a good example.

Mom syndrome

Mom syndrome

There is a high alert for all mommys out there. There is a condition which affects children of all ages, although symptoms are more severe in toddlers, doing the rounds. There are no symptoms which give you any advance warning and neither can it be diagnosed by any medical tests. It comes and goes without any warning and is usually accompanied by the child being upset and behaving in an unusual manner.

This new condition has been named “Mom Syndrome” The child experiences a sudden outburst of emotions , usually upsetting. They are compelled to not listen to the people around and start throwing a tantrum. Toddlers may feel the need to cry out their lungs. They will stop doing what they were already doing happily and cling on to their mom.

The main cause of Mom Syndrome is said to be the moms themselves! Whenever a mom has left her child in the care of someone else, and she suddenly appears, the child will experience a sudden need to cry and hold on to mom. He or she will not listen to their care taker any longer or won’t even let go of mom. They won’t let the caretaker even touch them any longer. Even though they were happy with the caretaker earlier, now that person has become their enemy.

Sounds familiar? Yes…. I’m sure every mom out there knows about this syndrome 😂. All the dramas that these kids have to do will come out as soon as they see mamma’s face. They would be playing/ eating happily with the nanny/ grandparent/ any other human being. But as soon as they even remotely hear mom’s voice they get ticked off. And the mamma song starts.

I really don’t know how to handle this behaviour. I can’t even walk past the room in which A is playing or eating. She even recognises my foot steps!! We have wooden flooring in the house. So the floor boards creak in some places. She can say that it’s me!!!

As for P. She is not that bad since she is grown up but she is so much more responsible when I’m not around. Every morning it’s such a fight to get her ready for school. Drink your milk, brush your teeth, change your clothes….. it’s a daily thing every morning. Recently I was away for a couple of days. And I hear that while I was not there madam P was ready before time and no one had to even tell her twice.

I so wish there was an easier way out of this. I know it’s an attention seeking tactic by the children. They feel like their comfort zone has come. But I wish it dint have to be so upsetting and difficult!

So while we moms brainstorm on how this condition can be best handled….. we have the following guidelines…..

My child is sick again :(

My child is sick again :(

It’s that time of the year again. Monsoon hits and so does the season of coughs, colds and flus. When the season changes here it’s terrible. Within 2 days the temperature has fallen 5 degrees Centigrade and the kids are all coughing and sneezing. Both P and A have caught it. First P caught the cold and had temperature for 2 days.As soon as she got better, A caught it. Along with becoming sick the kids also get cranky! Clingy! And want to do only mamma mamma all the time! So its tough. You want to get something done….. and your baby is clinging on to you screaming “godi mamma!!”

While I totally understand where its all coming from, there can be times when you wish they would just play for a while and be ok. It’s difficult to keep them occupied on their own. A just wont play on her own or even leave my side sometimes. Not even if we are in the same room or car. But there is one thing which can distract her…… a video on the phone or the TV. She will be crying her lungs out and tears will be rolling down her cute chubby cheeks….. but the second you ask her do you want to watch something? She forgets it all and quietly settles down on the sofa and watches. Although I’m not a big fan of using TV as my escape route, I am guilty of indulging sometimes. Especially when she is home all day and getting too clingy. (Or when I want to sleep in late…. shushhh!!)

There can be many other ways to keep her busy. She enjoys reading books, loves building legos, playing with kitchen set. But all these need your time and patience. Which, I will admit, I lack sometimes (patience that is). The age gap between my daughters (5 years) has ensured that I have been attending to an infant/ toddler for over 8 years now. I loose it sometimes and just feel like i want to get out of this phase asap. I literally count how many years before my toddler will go to school for longer hours and i can get free of this stuff. Phew!

Caring for a sick child can be difficult. Fortunately for me they both haven’t got very high temperatures. When the fever goes high it’s difficult to sit by their side and see them suffer. You keep measuring the temperature just hoping it won’t go that high again and…. there you are. The viral stays on for 3-5 days and you are helplessly staring at the child going through it. Here are some things

It’s one of biggest tortures for a mother I feel. Seeing their child suffer. But then it’s a part and parcel of parenthood. You signed up for all those sleepless nights and constant worrying once you decided to have a baby. I read this line somewhere…. “it’s like having your heart walk outside your body”.

New year at school

New year at school

And yes! In the middle of Mumbai and Bangkok happened P’s first sleepover at school. They had to carry sleeping bags to school and everyone from grade 3-12 was at school in a big big party. The kids were soooo excited. So was I! But I was also nervous. Coz in my past experiences with P going for sleepovers, I have always got a call in the middle of the night either to pick her up or saying that she can’t sleep. And I have had to talk her into going to sleep. So I was worried I’m going to get a call from her teacher saying that she is not able to sleep! It was also the first time I had gone without talking to her for more than 24 hours straight. At least knowing that I don’t have the option to. It was a new experience for me too. I woke up 2-3 times during the night thinking if she is sleeping peacefully or not. And the next day…. we all went as a family to the bus stop to pick her up. It was like we were welcoming her home after a long absence 😆. She was good! And happy! And sleep deprived 🙄 she said they slept at 12 and had to wake up by 6 coz they had to get ready, have breakfast and leave school by 8. But they had an awesome time. The kids had a complete ball and are anticipating that they are going to get to be awake till 2am next year!!

I like this little thing their school does. First whole week of the new academic year is of fun and activities and bonding with the new teacher and new peers. The kids get comfortable with each other and the teacher. And at the end of the week they have a carnival and sleepover in school. The kids simply freak out and have a party! They also get the senior students to build something new in the school campus. Year before last it was a climbing wall. Last year it was a tree house. I don’t know what’s new this year. When they send us the video we will know. It’s also new format for the 3rd graders this year. They don’t have an assistant teacher any more and neither is there any didi to assist them with lunch and washroom. Their classroom also always had an activity area and one main study area. Now from this year they don’t have an activity area and they have lockers to keep their books in. This is a whole new responsibility for them! They have to maintain their lockers and look after their keys. And also take care which books are where.

P is excited to take on these new responsibilities. Makes her feel more grown up. I’m sure the others too. Having a key which they have to take care of is like feeling important to them. I’m thinking I must start something at home also. Give her a new responsibility for something. Like this is your job. Let me see what she can take up. Will have a chat with her also.

But currently it’s all party time at home also. Bua and cousins are over and they just can’t get enough of each other. The house is a madhouse sometimes. P and one of her girls is the same age. The other being 6 yrs older. So P and cousin are inseparable and A has older cousin to keep her company. In fact 2 days ago it was Bua’s birthday and the 8 year olds planned a party with decorations and games. They wanted to plan the food also but finally gave in to our requests that we can handle that department. It was such a fun party. It was just us family but we enjoyed the games they made us play and the end was a double cartwheel show by them.

She also starts after school sports this year! Which means an extra 2 hours twice a week. Some are skeptical (mainly because of the additional hours) but I feel it’s the right age to introduce them to a sport. She is enthusiastic about badminton currently. But if I don’t fuel her enthusiasm it’s going to die down. I’m lucky her school is giving her the chance. It might help her to pick a sport at least as a hobby if not as a career.

What a performance!

What a performance!

In between Jaipur and Mumbai was P and my first Kathak performance together. It was the first time we were sharing a stage. Unfortunately we cudnt be in the same dance 😦 she was with her age group and I was with mine. It wasn’t possible for the dance school to put us together. Maybe some day we both can be together in the same dance.

It truly was a proud day. She has improved a lot since the last year and you could see it in the performance. The look on her face was totally different and I see the enthusiasm she had to go for her classes. She has completed 2 years in the dance school and it was not easy initially. There were times when she refused to go to class and I had to push her even though she was in tears. I kept telling her, this is like school and attendance is compulsory. I cannot do anything but send you. It’s not a choice. And I’m glad I did it.

Many would say at that time, if she is not liking it don’t send her. But I could see that it was not like she did not like it, it maybe was a bit boring at times because it’s classical dance. I have been there and done that. I was 6 when I started learning Kathak and I know that it can get boring. Bollywood or folk dance is more exciting because it is fast paced and there are words expressing you. Here there are no words when you are learning the ‘tukdas’. So yes…… it needs a push. And the children need that push from their parents.

She had started learning guitar also but I could clearly see that she was not liking it. She would just sit in the class not budging while the poor sir would keep telling her to play. There I could see that she has no interest whatsoever. It was no point pushing her.

I have seen parents around who say lets make the children do what they like. Let’s not force them. True. That should be. But at the age of 6 & 7 they really don’t know what’s good and bad for them. We as parents have to think for them. We have to visualise what they will want to do in life and what not. Will they be the kind who will dance or sing or paint or play some sport? Which of these suits their personality? Which one will they be able to cope with along with school and studies? While doing that activity now does it bring an excitement in the child?

Think and make the right choices. It’s the choices we make now which will influence them later in life. It’s how seriously we take it, will influence how seriously they take it. I can say…. oh big deal if she doesn’t learn this maybe something else, or sometime else. But it is a big deal. Let them early on understand the meaning of commitment to something. And I feel this age of 8-10 years is perfect to start teaching them that. They will thank you later for that.

Holidays have been hectic

Holidays have been hectic

We’ve been in and out of town since 5th April. Back to back 3 holidays. All of different kinds.

First it was a couple of days in Gurgaon at bua’s and then four days in Jaipur. A relaxed 5 star retreat in complete luxury. We dint move out of the hotel at all. The Oberoi Rajvilas is a fantastic property with 150 species of birds in the property. There were dancing peacocks all around which the kids thoroughly enjoyed. We did swimming and many other activities in the hotel including a small treasure hunt made by the hotel staff. We also saw the palace and Amer Fort light and sound show, which is not to be missed!

A week in Bangalore and we were off to Nani house in Mumbai. We were there for a little less than a month. That was a mixture of activities. A farm stay, kidzania, Aladdin musical, the beach among other things. As usual the girls had an awesome time with their Abhi bhaiya. It was some play and a LOT of fighting. He being 5 years older than P, would tease her all the time and she would be irritated and crying. And then he would equally want to play as much with her. Come to the park, let’s go cycling and play this and play that. He totally adores his sisters and misses them a lot. Unfortunately we don’t live in the same city :(. Anyway… all in all it was a great holiday. Mumbai with all its heat and sweat and dust is still the vibrant city. It never fails to steal your heart. It’s like saying you can take a person out of Mumbai but you can’t take Mumbai out of a person. It’s always Amchi Mumbai ( translated to “Our Mumbai”)

And then came the most fun of them all. We went for a short trip to Bangkok for 5 days. Papa had a 2 day summit to attend there so he took us all along. Although it was P’s first week of school (second technically but they start studies only in the second week), I took the liberty of taking her along. The girls were super excited to go. It was A’s first trip abroad and P’s third, not that she remembers the first 2 😜.

We had taken a serviced suite there with a kitchenette since I would have to cook for Papa dear. He is on a restricted diet due to some allergies. So eating out was ruled out. It was on this trip I realised how much P actually thought about me. Whether it was helping me peel, chop or help with A, she was willing to help in any way she could. She asked me a few times if I would like to use the Spa ( she saw that the hotel offered a spa). I said I couldn’t because I dint have anyone to leave you girls with since Papa is out for work. She even offered to wait outside the spa for however much time I used it! When I told her I can’t leave u girls like that she was upset and said Ma it’s your holiday too. Even you should be able to do the things you like. Why do you only have to do things for us all the time? I had no answer to give her. It was logistically impossible for me this time. I had no one to leave them with. And she would not understand that leaving them both alone might not be safe. Bottom line is she was so thoughtful!! ( I usually don’t experience thoughtfulness from her)

I do strongly believe, if you do have the option you MUST take time out for ‘me’ time and do your thing. It’s important to maintain your sanity. Especially when you have 2 or more where you’re spending half the time being a referee.

Anyway…. back to Bangkok where I realised my 8 year old is growing up. She is starting to understand things around her and watching and observing and absorbing. She is also starting to form her own opinions on how things should be. I’m not the kind who treats my children like they are very mature. I want to keep their innocence till it’s possible because, after all, they to be grown ups for major part of their lives. I don’t take them for grown up movies or expose them to regular television. So yes… now I’m starting to realise how much my baby is growing up.

I can say I do pamper them in that sense. A is too small but P is old enough to do some chores around the house. Basic being cleaning up. Although I do push for that and keep on re iterating that I will not tolerate your things lying anywhere around the house or just scrambled on the floor. But she leaves it like that more often than not. I’m trying but she seems like she doesn’t care. I think she gets it from her dad. Not closing boxes and drawers after removing things and leaving things on the floor after looking for something. 🤔 However much I push, nothing works. I’ve even gone to the extent of throwing her things in the dustbin. But she is ok for 1-2 days and back to square one.

For the past few days I’m trying to be completely intolerant. If I find anything around I call her and make her put it back. I guess she will learn slowly but I do hope that slowly is soon. It gets on my nerves sometimes as to how she can forget it each and every time. Just how? When I tell her the same thing at least twice in a day. Sometimes even more. How difficult is it to push the drawer back in or just zip up the pouch again? I’m being patient and hoping this will change soon. As for A, she is another stubborn kid. Won’t even budge if I tell her to wind up 😢

Let’s take a Vacation!!

Let’s take a Vacation!!

Don’t we all really love that. Let’s take a vacation!! It’s summer holiday time. Take time off work , lock up the house and go away for a few days. Personally, I LOVE it!!!! Go see a new place. Enjoy with family. Bond with the kids. Experience new things. And make lots and lots of lovely memories. So that one day, when life is not all that great we can look back and say, I’m so glad I’ve already done this.

People do give priority to work many times. They “think” that they really can’t get out right now coz this thing is coming up or there is that important client or a blah blah blah. Yes…. that’s what I think it is. BLAH! Your kids are never going to be this age again. You are never going to be this age again. Thank God you are physically fit. Coz you might not be this way always. Take a break to keep your mental sanity. Taking a break will help you to unwind and come back work with more vigour. So take every opportunity and make it happen. Promise yourself that at least once a year you will take a good break to a new place with your kids. You won’t regret it.

I have plenty of memories from my childhood. We went on an annual holiday every summer. And a few other trips during the year. They were the most amazing times of my life. No tensions… nothing. Just go on the holiday and enjoy. I want that for my kids too. I’m trying but the annual holiday trend has not picked up yet. My A is a bit small. Once she is old enough to eat out and ok to skip her naps… then I’d be more comfortable traveling with her. In the meanwhile we will do with small weekend breaks here and there.

It’s so important to choose a destination where you will be confident that your kids will be comfortable. And most important of all that they will enjoy. It’s no point going to the beach if your child hates the sand. Off late I have noticed that P is liking seeing old temples and palaces. We have seen a few in the past year and it really interests her. So the last weekend we went to Jaipur we made it a point to take her to the palace and the fort there (btw the light and sound show at Amer fort is really awesome. A must watch!) we missed going to Jantar Mantar. Although I know P was really keen for it. Stars and planets interest her. We had just made a mini sun dial at home just when the holidays had started. She really wanted to see the real one 😦 we missed the timing and it shut down by the time we reached.

We stayed at Oberoi Rajvilas for a couple days at Jaipur. There were several peacocks and peahens dancing around the campus. There were lots of other birds around too. The property has a 300 year old temple inside. It was built around it 20 years ago. It’s simply beautiful. The point is….. those 2 days we only stayed there. We swam, we walked around, did some local activities which the resort organised and relaxed. The kids bathed in the sunken bathtub. It was just 2 days of pure fun. And then we moved to trident in the city and went to the palace etc that day. We planned in such a way that we could accommodate activities suiting both the kids, given their age gap.

So just plan and take off. Have a fun time and chill! Forget about all those meetings and clients. They will still be there when you get back. But this time won’t.

Commit the crime but don’t get caught

Commit the crime but don’t get caught

It’s disgusting and disturbing to see the number rapes on little girls , not that rape on women is any better!! But you just feel like what kind of monsters must they be who can put a little girl through so much pain. My P is as old as Asifa. I cannot think of leaving my daughter alone for even a minute, lest what might happen to her. Who is lurking around the corner to pick up my angel and harm her? It’s getting to the point of paranoia. I have male help at home and I don’t feel safe leaving my daughter there too. I mean what kind of a world are we living in that our girls cannot feel safe in their own homes.

Then there are people who point out that it’s usually the woman’s fault when she gets raped. She must wearing small clothes or must be looking at men a certain way. (What can an 8year old wear to entice a man!!) Then others say that the internet and free porn are to blame. Some other people say that the women need to be shown “their place” because she spoke up about something or did something which is not “supposed” to be done by women. Then people also blame the government for not having strict laws and punishments. (Well what do I say, some will blame the government even if kaamwali bai doesn’t turn up)

I agree laws and enforcement are to be worked upon. And I agree that stricter punishments would definitely make men think twice before they do anything. But then who does it with the intention of being caught? But don’t people want to remove the root cause of this? It’s like giving an allopathic treatment when you know homeopathy can cure you from the root.

People protest and hold candle marches against the government. Why dont they protest against the men and women who are responsible for raising such a man. Why not against the society where these men are raised and live in? They say we do it so that people in power listen. What about all those mothers and fathers who taught their sons that they are more superior to women. Yes. I not only blame the patriarchy but also the women in our society.

Women most often put down other women. Power struggles among women for the men of the house often end up in the weaker one being punished by the man. This teaches the man and the sons of the house that women should behave in their so called limits otherwise they should be shown their right place. Women are sex toys and baby making machines. Or should I say BOY making machines. Unless the society changes nothing will change.

We can have stricter laws but it will only tell the perpetrators…. commit the crime but don’t get caught. It will never reach them that what they did was wrong or teach other men that they shouldn’t do it because it’s morally incorrect.

I don’t know how to start this. But only by spreading the word or by changing the society will this change. Just like Prime Minister Modi screaming swachch bharat abhiyan, we cannot have clean streets. Is there any way we can educate? The culture has to change. The society has to change. We as parents have to make the change.

PS. I couldn’t find an image which portrays the true position of women in our society.