This pandemic has been toughest on the kids. They haven’t met friends in over 6 months and are locked up in the house. They can hardly go out of the house compound. Those living in apartments are fortunate to at least move around in the apartment complex (some don’t even allow that). But for people like us who live in houses, don’t have a choice but to keep them indoors. Every lane and street has positive cases and it’s becoming increasingly scary to allow them to venture out.

Schools are online and they spend hours in front of gadgets first attending classes , then doing homework. With a combination of synchronous and asynchronous learning they easily spend 4-5 hours a day in front of the computer. Plus they want to watch some entertainment also, so that’s added. To top it off they keep hearing COVID updates and that its increasing more than ever before. It’s all very scary for them and being able to go to school or meet friends is the biggest change they have ever seen and hopefully will have to ever see!

What can we as parents do to bring some sense of normalcy in their minds . Here are some things which I feel matter.

1. Keep a routine. I have always been a believer of routine. I’ve seen people struggling with bed times and waking kids up for school. I don’t know if I’m just blessed or it was my habit of routine which has helped my kids have a healthy sleeping routine. A fixed bed time is a must. They must go to bed like it’s a normal school day and wake up just like that. Shower and breakfast before online school starts and continue through the day like a school time table. Once school is over then they can have their down time and relax. I cannot stress enough on the importance of routine. Fixed meal times, bath times etc. it all tells them that things are normal. The change is not that big a deal. If you find your child not waking up at the desired time first find out how many hours of sleep does your child need. Then work backwards and figure out what time they need to sleep to wake up at the desired time. Then slowly 15 minutes at a time start changing their bed time. When they are done with their hours of sleep they will automatically wake up in time. Bed time is one thing we stick to without any compromise. One reason is routine and second very important reason is that only after they are both asleep do husband and I get some private time. A little chat at the end of the day gives us peace of mind and help us to keep our connect. Otherwise the entire day flies off and we don’t even realise that we haven’t had a decent conversation in days!!
2. Limit TV time. I know it simple to allow them to watch tv while you have to work. But this is one of the biggest devils. Studies have shown that watching tv triggers the production of dopamine which is the same thing that adults go through when they are addicted to drugs or alcohol. So you can judge what’s better for them. It’s not like I don’t let them watch tv at all. Yes they do watch. But the time is restricted. For A it’s 1 hour a day (she doesn’t have online school) and P is half an hour on school days and 1hour on holidays. If they are idle they will get creative with the ways they can spend their time.
3. Talk to them. it’s important that we open all channels of communication with our kids. We must create a sense of trust in them that mom or dad will listen when we want to talk and answer questions when we need them. Maybe before bed time or any time of the day you feel appropriate. I usually don’t prefer bed times because I’m a stickler for bed time. If I allow them to talk at that time they can go on and on 😄. Early mornings are a time when I bond with A. And with P we try and find any other time she’s ok with. They might have fears regarding the virus or about any adult who is stepping out of the house. It’s good to talk about it and give the facts. Be truthful but don’t give out too much information. Only enough to fulfil their curiosity. We recently had a session about this with A’s Montessori school. And the principal told us that it’s important to give true information to children but only to the extent they ask for it. Don’t divulge in unnecessary information which does not concern them. You never know what form it takes in their minds.
4. Play with them. P is a pre teen now but still enjoys playing with us. That’s the time when the bonding happens. When inhibitions are let go and they open up. A good game with thrills and laughters is always welcome. We play age appropriate games with P and A.
5. Let them get innovative and participate in their activities. there are so many things they think of doing in their free time. A has her pretend plays so she likes to set up shops and restaurants for us and wants us to shop and eat. Or sometimes just blow bubbles in the garden. She finds different ways of setting up shop and decorating her playroom to make a pretty dress shop or decorates her little table to represent a restaurant. Together they opened an imaginary restaurant called Stomach Full. They have served us yummy foods and desserts. Stomach full has hosted various events like fashion shows and dance performances. And the latest is HPL (Home premier league) since they have diversified their business now they have renamed it “Our Awesome Lives” and that is the main sponsor of HPL. HPL is basically a triangular balloon cricket series. Dad is 1 team, P is team 2 and A and I are team 3. There will be 3 matches (2 overs each innings) and one final match to be played between the winning 2 teams. The ground is my bedroom 😄. Sunday was the opening ceremony where the teams were presented to the audience (grandparents) and there was a small art gallery walk which had artworks from our budding artists.
6. Try and get some physical activity in their routine. Honestly I’ve not done very well in this department. A still enjoys running because the length of the house gives her enough space to run. But P gets no physical activity. She has dance class on weekends and during the week school makes them do some fitness exercises as 1 period a day. Apart from that it’s a little difficult to get her to do anything. She prefers curling up with a book to physical. Which is good in a way but I don’t know how to get her to do anything physical. So the kids have made up this game they call “Extreme hide and seek” our house has 3 floors. 1 ground plus 2 more floors. These 2 along with our house help ladies play this game where they divide themselves in teams hide in any corner of the 3 floor house and the other team has to search. So when that goes on there’s a lot of running up and down and all around the house but I’m not sure if that counts as physical activity 🤔. Gotto work on this one.
7. DO NOT fill their day with online classes. Again I know it’s very tempting to fill up their schedules with classes. Now a days coding starts at age 6! Wow isn’t that way early for that kind of stuff? Going online has opened up many new avenues and everyone is in a rush that their kids must learn something new in this covid time. Although the idea is good do not rush to fill all their days with classes. Going by a time table the entire day, all the days is very cumbersome. Would you like to be tied to a time table all the days? Then why subject the kids to that? Going by routine and filling up their schedules with classes is not the same thing. Routine means that routine jobs are done at the same time everyday. And time table means your time is entirely divided into fixed activities. So understand the difference. I’m not saying don’t enrol them in online classes but keep a limit and make sure they have ample free time other than homework time etc. Don’t give them a feeling that they have sufficient free time (since they are not stepping out of the house) so make complete use of it constructively in classes. Even spending free time doing nothing is constructive. Getting bored is constructive. Coz it’s only then they get creative ideas and they explore their own capabilities and likings. Mentally the kids get pressurised and it’s not a sense of normalcy. Because they get the feeling all the more that COVID has displaced our lives a lot and we are having to do extra work instead of being able to go out and meet friends.
8. Allow them to have video calls with friends so they can simply chat with them or play games virtually. This allows them to somewhat fulfil their socialising requirements. Basic human nature is to socialise and we all know how much we miss eating out at restaurants or meeting friends for drinks. It’s the same with them. So let them have a virtual meet-up and let them spend that time as they wish. And if you have some friends who you can trust are taking safety precautions then by all means allow them to have play dates. Maybe once a week or couple of weeks. I do have 1 friend of A’s and 1 of P’s who I know is ok to interact with. So once in a while they have play dates.

Yes it’s been a long read but I feel I have collected all my ideas into this article. Everything I have experienced in these past months of lockdown I have tried to summarise here. Our kids are going through something very unique. And it’s going to have a long lasting impact on them. Hearing the word Virus will always have another meaning for them altogether. They are scared and they do have questions. It’s only natural. They are also very upset because no meeting friends, no school, no travel, no holidays. My A is sooo upset because we could not go to Mumbai to visit Nani (maternal grandmother) these last holidays. Every few days she starts to cry that she wants to meet Nani and her bhaiya (older cousin brother, my nephew). And I have no answers. There doesn’t seem to be any solution to this devil in the near future and we don’t see anything normalising anytime soon. Let’s hope we all can endure this time and emerge stronger people.