Today as P came home from school she ran up to me and kissed and hugged and said “I Love You”. I hadn’t received such a lovely greeting on coming back from school in a long time. I was wondering ‘wow she is in a good mood’. I thought probably because she went to school after 15 days, thanks to a long bout of viral. To top it off she started telling her dad “papa do you know which is the most important job in the world? It’s mom’s job. Because if she doesn’t do her job the whole world will go wibbly wobbly!!”

This was like THE most wonderful thing I have heard from her in a long long time. I was beaming with pride and thinking ‘this girl has started to appreciate her mom. I’m loving this’

Well…. the happiness was short lived. It wasn’t another 5 minutes and she came up to me with a batteesi smile (showing her 32 teeth as you say in Hindi) and said “mom can I watch tv?”. This, because a few days ago I had given her an ultimatum that no tv on school days. Only on holidays. It was now that I understood ki kyun woh mujhe maska maar rahi thi (why she was buttering me up).

She got me there though. Her strategy was perfect. The one way to make mom happy is hug her and kiss her and say that I love her. And then say a few appreciative words and….. ta daaa!!! I get what I want. Yes… I gave in. Also partly because A is allowed to watch on school days so could not differentiate in them. The day I told her that, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up this one. It was a bad move.

I avoid making statements which are only a dhamki (threat) and I can’t follow through. I don’t want my kids to think that mom only talks. She won’t really do this. So I try and make punishments reasonable and then stick to it. Let them cry or create a fuss. I stick to my stand. Otherwise they will soon start taking advantage of me.

Whether it’s punishments or promises. Make them only if you can keep them or your word will hold no value in their eyes.