There are numerous times A and P fight like they will eat up each other. A is very smart and extremely stubborn and bossy! P on the other hand is bossy too but sometimes lands up getting almost bullied by A. Because A will first take something from her, then not give it back and then claim it’s her own! Poor P keeps telling her give it back, but she just simply won’t. Sounds familiar? I’m sure all parents with 2 or more children go through this. Whatever the age gap, siblings fight. Period. And there is no ONE method to solve these issues. 

If you take the younger ones side, the older one starts crying and starts emotional blackmail like “you always take her side”. And if you take the older ones side….there is no point. Coz A at 2.9 is just too young to understand anything. And staying out doesn’t help either. Today they were in one such fight and I chose to sit silently and watch. 5 minutes….. 10 minutes and they were still at it! That’s when I thought I got to do something or it’s never going to end. Most of the times the fight is because A will take something from P and P is trying to get it back…… or P and A playing together and P doesn’t agree with A playing with a certain thing and takes it from her. Usually in the latter situation A will snatch it back and P will be fighting with her to give it. So ultimately P is fighting to get something from A. 

Today we were in the second situation. So P had to be told the usuals…. leave it…. she doesn’t understand…. she is too young. But more often than not A will give it if P talks properly to her and asks for it gently. So I asked her to try that and….. there it was. A happily gave it to P and it was all sorted. 

Then there are times when they play with each other so beautifully that you will think wow! These sisters bond so well! In this matter P takes good leads. If someday I want to sleep in late or if no one is there to watch them while I do something , P will take her away and make her play. She reads to her too so they both get some good bonding time.  

I have realised one thing over these 7.9 years of parenting ….. talking gently helps. It can calm down a sibling fight. It can calm down an upset child. It can definitely help you get your way with your child. I know this… through experience…. but I still loose it 😔 Every time I do it, again I promise myself I won’t. I have improved a lot over the past years. But there is still room for more. I have to repeat to myself time and again…. they are just little kids…. still trying to understand the world and more than that… trying to understand themselves and their emotions. Give them more time. 

If I talk calmly to them I can teach them to also talk calmly to each other. Then maybe they won’t fight that much (I’m getting my hopes high on that one!) or maybe it will help them resolve their fights better. So let’s try to talk calmly…… everyday….. every time ( even though I might feel like tearing out my hair from within)