So a part of terrible twos is wanting mom 24×7. A will play on her own for a while and then it’s “mammmaaaaaaa”. The other day I went out of the house without telling her… so now whenever I even say by slip of tongue that I have to go out… she clings on to me like glue. She just won’t go to the nanny. Aap nehlao…. aap khilao…. aap le saath khelna hai…..

And the tantrums…. how do you handle those? Crying endlessly for silly things. It can be annoying at times. Especially when you don’t have the time for it. Now some wise parents will say…. what do you mean no time for it. You don’t have time for your kids? But yes…. it does happen. Every person is pressed for time some time or the other. Whether you’re an sahm or working mom. There is always things to be done and less time for everything. And don’t you think sometimes it seems like the kids choose exactly the time when you’re running late for their tantrums. I might be sitting and watching TV and she will be happily playing. The minute I start doing something there goes…… 

P had way many more meltdowns than A has. With A if I explain to her she usually gives in. Or if that’s not happening then be slightly strict and she is done 😀 But my P was not (and is still not) like that. She would cry and cry and cry. Most of the times I could do nothing but to allow her to cry. No amount of cajoling and explaining would get her to cool down. So I would just sit and wait. I would tell her that I’m waiting for you till you finish. Then we will get back to it. If I found my temper rising I would even leave the room for her to cry alone.  I know it sounds mean but it would work. After a few moments she would realise that it’s not going to work and would stop. Maybe the outburst was also her way of letting go of her feelings. So once she had cried it out she would feel better. 

For example I have always been very particular that no TV while eating and eating happens on your high chair. No running around. No getting off the chair in between meals. Initially she was very resistant. She would cry once the belt was put on. But I would just tell her that meal time is on the chair and that she doesn’t have an option for that. And I would just sit and wait. Sometimes during a tantrum I would just tell her I know you’re not liking it and give her hug. She would cry in my arms and be quiet in a while.

Of course that doesn’t mean I dint have my meltdowns. Sometimes things got too much for me too. I did yell many times and did scold her. I’m not a perfect parent. But at the end of it all I always realised that if I’m calm she will be calm too. If I get worked up, she won’t stop. It will only increase. So over time I would resist my temptation to yell and try and be calm. It’s worked most of the times.